Depressing

It seems like I get depressed when I stop writing. I haven’t written here in, well, you can see when the previous post was. I never even posted about the finale of Alone, which went basically as expected. I did get busier with work, but then less busy, pending the seasonal burst starting soon through December. But when I’m home I surf, sometimes not for long before running out of steam, and then I play Solitaire. The plan was to write, and to juice that up by writing, even if not here. This one still feels poisoned to me by the horrible post some people knew was about an old friend and too many people saw during the way too long it was up. No matter that I explained myself and expressed my remorse, since I’m capable of introspection enough to have learned myself better from the whole thing. I was going to write here less and elsewhere more, but that didn’t happen. Indeed, it was almost as if that triggered the stoppage.

I also haven’t recently watched that favorite movie of mine that I got obsessed about, and that seems to provoke me into being happy. I came to feel like I over-analyzed it, but doing so gave me a critical eye for movie making that I lacked before. I even came up with my own “what happened next” that is at least as logical as anything in the film as made. After all, what do you do after that? People go home and face the music at some point. I didn’t work out what happens to the staff at the school, but if I were them I’d probably pretend nothing ever happened. No kids get in trouble with the school. They carry on, with or without any wisdom about how bad they are as teachers and administrators gained from the whole thing. The car is hard to sweep aside, though. How do the two lovebirds get home with a minimum of trauma?

Anyway, I should write more. Even if none of it is here. Since I have no retirement plan and am semi-retired already, courtesy of the circa 2008 economy and excess loyalty to old partners and big client, all I can come up with for maybe having income that doesn’t make me sore is writing books. If I never make money from it, I’d still prefer to end my life having given it a shot. If I start now, I’m already rolling when I reach a point where I can’t work. At something physical, that is. If I was too old to be hired for non-physical tech work in my mid to late forties, sure as hell nobody will be hiring me in my sixties and even further out of date on what’s current.

Or I can just keep busy trying to protect fallow blogs from comment spammers. It’s gotten completely out of hand. It seems like some of the ones protected by Akismet got auto-updated (no idea why I left that turned on on any of them) into Akismet being out of date. When Akismet was updated to match, it didn’t seem to do the job any more. There’s no way in WordPress to tell it to turn off comments for every last previous post. Besides, I have seen comment spammers generate “comments” for posts that don’t allow comments. I killed the worst of it on one blog when I was getting several hundred a day from an IP address. Blocked it, then had to block an entire range because they just changed within the range which they used. I’d ignore it except every one generates an e-mail notification for approval.